Bipper Time
by SouthernKittyGal
Summary: Just a series of random, batcrap crazy drabbles with Bipper where you can also send him stuff. Body Possession and maybe some hints of Mabill/ChipDip
1. One Lteetr Bcak

So I got really bored last night and decided I'd start a crack fic or two. Basically, Bipper is being insane and you send him stuff to have him react to or answer or whatever. The random letters (ALKDFJLASKD) are static from the camera.

* * *

A;LSDKFJA;LSKDFJA;LSKDJF;LSKDJFlksjflaksfdj

"Alright! Got it, now!" An eye filled the shot of the camera before he stood back, grinning.

"So, then! I've been seeing that I have a lot of fans on the internet here! You humans really are stupid - you're romancing an almighty, all-powerful, evil, SUPREME BEING!" He held his arms up as he cackled loudly, "HAHAHAHAHAH-"

-ALFKJ;ALSDKJF;ASKDbLAKJFLAS-

Relaxing back in a chair, he continued in a more calmed voice, "Anyhow, it is I! Bill Cipher! I'm only using this pathetic mortal's body for the time being. Pinetree over here, you can't see him because of your stupidity, keeps bugging me, but we should be fine."

He grinned, "Anyways, I'm starting these little video posts to answer some of you silly mortal's questions. And to embarrass Pinetree in as many ways as I can think of." He bent a finger back, breaking it, "Oh, yes, that's good."

He continued, quite literally, cracking his knuckles. "And I plan to take full advantage of my time in a human vessel."

-ALSJFA;LSKDJF;ALSKJDF;LASKJF-

Bipper looked through the drawers of Dipper's room curiously, and pulled out a t-shirt. He wrapped it around his head extremely tight.

The feeling of his lungs not working was exhilarating, and he tried even harder to suck in air but couldn't.

He got really lightheaded and grinned. So this was what it's like not to be able to bre-

-AL;KFJAL;SKJFLAKSJDFLAKJSDF-

Having regained consciousness and refocusing on the camera again, Bipper concluded with a large grin, "So send me crap."


	2. HSBWJUZ GBMMT XJMM

-ALKFJALKSJFLSKDFALSJF;LKSDJF;S-

"Hello, fleshbags! I-"

"-GRAPPLING HOOK!"

The camera fell over onto it's side with a disturbing _crack!_

-ALKJFALSKFJSDLFKALKSJFALSKJDF-

"Hello, fleshbags! I'm back to take pity on you by answering your stupid questions and posting these insignificant videos. You know what I found out the other day? The author put my story, _MY STORY_, in a folder labeled cracky-ass shit." He gave a large eyed look, as if thoroughly offended, and put a hand over his heart, "Is that really all she thinks of me? I'm neither on crack _or_ shit! Though, I will say, this ass thing isn't too bad!" He gave a toothy grin.

"Anyways… Onto the commentary!" He dug through a small bag of messages and picked out the first one, "Guest said 'Okay…'"

He rolled his eyes, "Wow, way to make a statement! Being an omniscient demon, I'd like to think I'm a little better and little more deserving of just an '_Okay.'_ Not to mention, I never said these videos were going to be very sane." He gave a bored look, "I don't _do_ sane."

"Ugh, moving on," He dug through the bag some more and paused to read another message, "What in the name of frog? You can actually send crap to people's houses _anonymously_? ...I just may do this. Though I would put my host's name on the package." He snickered before pausing, "...Don't send me crap. When I said in the last chapter to send me crap I didn't mean that literally. If you do that I'll give you nightmares for a decade. And maybe dump the crap on Pinetree's bed." He smirked.

He fingered the message and looked up towards the ceiling in thought, smiling to himself, "...I do like the idea this has, though. I'll keep this one!"

He set it aside, digging through the bag, and pulled out a new review, a card this time. The front read, "Girl in the Corner Fangirling." He considered passing on it and then opened it up.

His ears were immediately attacked with the sounds of, mostly, women's loud squealing and screaming. He fumbled, the card dancing and spinning in his hands until he shut it. He exhaled hard, regaining his composure, and looked around on the outside. He had no choice. The message was on the inside.

He opened the card, the fangirling ravaging his ears again. "You should look at-." He paused, unable to hear his own thoughts, and voice, and in one deft motion tore the card in half, straight down the middle. He let off a relieved sigh when the hellish screeching ceased.

"You should look at this reverse pines, stuff. I like your reverse self, he's so cute. Bye." He cocked his head, "Who says bye in a message? Anyway, let's check this out." He went over to Dipper's computer (it was a piece of crap, though not literally, it just worked horribly), and looked up Reverse Pines.

After a moment's research he turned to grin at the camera, "This certainly looks promising! And this version of the twins definitely looks more intriguing than the ones I'm stuck with. I bet they're fun. Pinetree and Shooting Star are more evil and Sadomasochistic! This universe seems great... Why can't I be there?!" He turned back to look at one of the pictures of the two insane twins, "I love this universe."

He spoke as he typed up Reverse Bill Cipher, "As for my reverse self…" He paused, and scowled at the computer as he scrolled and clicked through links, "Why am I blue? And why am I so insignificant seeming? This isn't true! I should be taking full advantage of this opportunity!" He got up from the computer with a scoff, "This universe is stupid. Though maybe I could find a way there and somehow use those versions of the twins…" He drifted off into thought, smiling.

He paused and looked at the camera, "Well, what're you waiting for? Send me reviews! And I'd say I'm more deserving of just three."

* * *

*Whispers* You guys should send magic anons… (messages, usually anonymous, that illogically influence the character/story [say, you sent a message declaring Bill a human child for two chapters, or that he is now in another universe]). You can decide how long they last or I can. Though if you say it stands for the rest of the fanfic, I may not follow through on that (depends on what it is).

Anyhow, send stuff; situations, m!anons, messages, questions, ideas, pairings, whatever your human hearts desire! The amount of messages I receive will usually determine how long or short the chapter is (longer the more messages there are, shorter the less there are). And what do you think of the fanfic so far? Any suggestions to improve or not?


End file.
